I Wrote You A Haiku

A few weeks ago, my friend Tara returned from her home in Honduras for a visit and, after much discussion and catching up and a little pizza, her and Greg and I settled in to watch Management – a new movie with Steve Zahn and Jennifer Aniston.  The movie was slow and a little bizarre, but it made us all laugh out loud quite a few times. The best part of the movie was one scene where Steve Zahn said to Jennifer Aniston, “I wrote you a Haiku.” The look on her face was priceless and I laughed until I nearly cried. When I finished laughing, I looked over at Greg and asked, “Who does stuff like that?”

Yesterday was my 35th birthday and, since I’ve been in bed going on four days with the H1N1, I was a little grumpy that I had to spend my birthday in bed. When Greg got home from work, bearing gifts of Tim Horton’s coffee and a donut, I let my grumpiness get the better of me and I asked him, “Did you even get me anything for my birthday?”  “Well not yet,” he answered, all exasperated and put-out. “I wanted you to be healthy before I gave you a gift so you could enjoy it.” I was, of course, instantly annoyed. After all, he had an entire year to find me something special for my birthday and, in typical Greg fashion, he left it to the last minute. Normally, this doesn’t bother me because he’s always been like this and I am usually 100% okay with it. Yesterday, though, I was irritable and in pain and I couldn’t breathe very well, so it got my back up. I sat back against the head board, crossed my arms and pouted in silence while he got up and announced that he was taking the dogs for a run. Fine!  Whatev!

As soon as he left, I huddled back under the covers, trying not to feel sorry for myself, and fell instantly back into a deep sleep. I awoke an hour later to find Greg standing beside the bed smiling down at me with a Christmas Cactus and a birthday card. He’d had them all along, but when I got mad at him, he decided he wouldn’t give them to me until I stopped acting like such a child.  Okay, my bad! He buys me some sort of weird plant every year and I always love them. Last year it was a Money Tree, the year before, an Everlasting Pineapple, the year before that, a Christmas Bamboo, etc. His reasoning for the Christmas Cactus this year…because it’s prickly, like you are when you’re sick.  Gotta love a man who’s honest, no matter what!

Despite the cactus, I was still feeling a little cranky, until I opened the card. It was just an ordinary birthday card, but there was a piece of paper inside it that made me howl with laughter (and then have a huge coughing fit) when I read it. It said:

Cougar, I wanted to write you a Haiku for your birthday, but it is clearly over my head, so I downloaded you two.


I am a cougar.
I rub against your flesh trunk
Just scratching an itch.


Strong and graceful gait
Predator’s strength and wisdom
Queen of the mountain

Happy Birthday,
Love Greg

First of all, just the fact that he remembered how much the Haiku line in the movie made me laugh shows me that he actually listens to me from time to time and pays attention. Brownie points for that.

And, secondly, the first Haiku is so him that I couldn’t help but laugh – men!

Needless to say, I thought I would be cranky all day, but he made me laugh and the rest of the day was much better! I love the way he makes me laugh!

Did I mention that he was a Cougar Hunter and I was a Cougar for Halloween???



2 thoughts on “I Wrote You A Haiku

  1. Ha! We watched that movie too, it really made me laugh, very quirky.
    I love the haiku’s Greg gave you, so sweet 🙂

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